'I had made grandiose plans as to what this retreat would be-well structured, minimum of give hours of daily prayer, lengthy meditation of the Scriptures, deeper insight into the person of Jesus-lofty expectations of felt intimacy with God. On that first day I couldn't connect two thoughts about God. I was left blowing bubbles and doodling with my crayons.
Becoming a little child meant becoming aware that all is gift, that I am helpless and powerless to add a single inch to my spiritual stature. Without the subjective awareness of utter dependence, the personal consciousness of a dynamism outside of self at work in us, I seriously question whether anyone has made real progress in the spiritual life.
So the first movement of the retreat was getting in touch with the basic truth about the human condition: To be human is to be poor. It was tasting what it is like to be powerless. It is painful to be in desolation and darkness, not to be able to control, manage and manipulate God into letting me experience His loving presence and compassionate care.'
42 generations.
Can you get a slight hint of God's tendency to deliberately honour those who humble themselves before him? Can you imagine Jesus literally calling a child over to the intimidating crowd of the men around Jesus? No small potato could be an apostle of Jesus! Jesus called each one of them to be his apostle; nobody could just apply for a position as an apostle.
So the scene is:Jesus calls a random child over, makes him the centre of attention among the big shots(of course, Jesus is the biggest shot), and says basically, this child here is your role model.
Do you know the role children played in Hebrew society? Not much. they were insignificant balls of dirt who, honestly, could not do a lot of useful things. carry heavy stones to build God's temple? Craft wood, marble, and gold with incredible finesse? Don't bet on it.
What does it mean to you when God asks us to be as children? Does the whole innocent idea of, well, innocence fill your mind? acting cute, childish, talking with squeaky voices? I believe God asks us to realize that the only hope of us achieving anything really useful issola gratia, by grace alone. To realize that everything we have, everything, is a gift from God. Each breath, each uttered word, each spark within our neurons, would cease to be at His word.
This is who we are: children.
